Reader's Responses to "Death on My Own Terms"

And a Correction

I have been enjoying writing about the final stage of life recently. And after this last post about choosing one’s time of exit, I received some particularly interesting responses. For some people, it was too much for their nervous systems. Some were full of appreciation. Some were worried about me. And some were critical about how much of my life’s energy (they thought) I was spending on such a downer of a topic. I’ll offer some examples in a minute.

Correction

But first I owe an apology to the right-to-die movement because there was an error near the end of the post, which I want to correct. Three different people who are leaders in this movement, wrote to me after reading my erroneous statement: “There is no legal way to end your life without a terminal diagnosis, short of going to Switzerland.” My revision/correction is: “Suicide is not illegal, but the methods available to most people who haven’t looked into their options are either unreliable, unpleasant, or violent. At present, VSED is the most well-known legal, non-violent option. And FEN’s inert gas method, while requiring some advanced preparation, is probably the least painful legal method available to date.”

Reader Responses I Found Interesting

I want to thank those readers who took the time to write to me. I received your comments as an act of care. And I found value in each one of them. Some of these comments are excerpts from longer letters.

Here is a sampling:

All this talk about death. Live your life now, and when the time is right, you’ll be able to find the help you need.

There is something to say about allowing our lives to unfurl organically.

Why not just look out the window every day and enjoy the sunshine?

I recently lost my partner. I wanted you to know why I am unsubscribing. Reading these things is too much for me.

I'd prefer to leave it to my soul to make the decision on when I go and hope that I am sufficiently prepared when that time comes.

Susan, there are good reasons to stick around-- to take stands for those forces threatening to diminish freedom in your country, and to be there for those who love you.

I hope you hang around until such a time as da big ju ju in da sky, She say 'Susan babe, tis your time now, you gonna fly up to de clouds now.........’

I applaud your effort to encourage more conversations about end of life choices.

I agree that it is absurd that so much effort is devoted to keep those oldies with Alzheimer’s or other degenerative diseases alive and that space needs to be kept to support the young who are the life blood of tomorrow.

You just did a lot of work for those of us who are starting to peek around that corner.

As climate and social disruptions increase, my safe little world may/will be shattered, and I want to think about options for ending my life intentionally then.

…..But if a quick exit is what I want, I want to have thought that through and have the means available.

We should talk. I've got lived experience just recently with these issues.

Your “ideal” way to die isn’t one that many are afforded (referring to my reference in the post about dying consciously and just going “poof”). A “natural death” tends to be difficult and way too long.

You mention Compassion & Choices in the same paragraph as Exit International and FEN. While it’s true that C&C is an advocacy group, their only advocacy to date has been to push for expanding the existing restrictive law to states that do not have MAID yet. Exit International and FEN support making MAID available to people who are currently barred from using it, as does A Better Exit.

My Takeaway

My takeaway from reading these comments is to remember that these are times of changing values. And, as with any change, there will be a wide range of opinions and responses. Death is a sacred transition. There is no bigger transition, other than birth. Peoples’ deeply-held spiritual and religious beliefs may be involved. Existential fears are involved. Other peoples’ opinions are often involved. People’s projections are involved. Any author who ventures into this territory will stir up feelings, reactions, judgments, and taking sides.

I offer my reflections here in these posts to stimulate peoples’ thinking, to stretch readers’ comfort zones, and to encourage healthy dialogue. By giving me your feedback, you stimulate and stretch me!

Upcoming Events

To register or get more information for any of these listings, send me an email expressing your interest to susancampbell99@gmail.com I will reply with instructions about how to complete your registration.

Getting Real 6-session webinar on Zoom (This will be the last time I offer this on Zoom.)

Dates: Begins January 16, 2025, noon-2pm PT, and continuing for 6 consecutive Thursdays at that time through February 20.

Cost: $375USD per person

In this workshop, we will learn and practice “the ten truth skills” together. You will learn how to:

• communicate with presence, authenticity, and spontaneity (even when you feel fear about it)

• relate more and control less

• spot all the subtle ways you and others “communicate to control”

• be aware of how you impact others

• repair rifts in trust and connection after a misunderstanding

• ask for what you want without being controlling

• heal past trauma and unprocessed pain

• communicate about difficult topics in ways that foster deep intimacy and trust

……and much more.

Getting Real in Person (This will be the last time I offer this workshop.)

Dates: May 10-11, 2025, 10am-5pm both days.

Cost: $395 per person

Location: Sebastopol, CA (50 minutes north of the Golden Gate Bridge).

What You Will Learn: See description for Getting Real on Zoom listed above, or go to my website

Free Monthly Group Coaching Webinar January 7

The topic for my January 7 free monthly webinar will be “Why American Society Needs a Good Mediator: How to apply conflict resolution, mediation, and negotiation skills for navigating the complexities of today’s world.” I want to share and play with some models for healing interpersonal and inter-group conflicts that I have used over the years. I will guide the group in how to apply these principles in your own life. And there will be time for Q and A.

The recurring Zoom link to access all my free Tuesday webinars from now on is: Zoom link So, you can use this same link every time.

Meeting ID: 831 3944 4623

Passcode: 335461